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Sex Again
101

.com
Harlan Jacobsen Copyright © 2003

Not being a sex web site or newspaper publisher, we usually do not carry information or articles on the subject of sex. However, since sex is the biggest buggaboo or hurdle in dating the second time around, we will try to devote this site to cover some aspects that are helpful in getting on with a new and better life and help you avoid sexual traps and detours.

Here are some sexual points we have discovered and are covering at this site, that help you to understand:




1. SEX IS NOT INSTINCTIVE. The urge is instinctive but the performance is learned. (All higher animals including monkeys have to watch or have some instruction.)




2. MOST DIVORCED PEOPLE OVER 30 ARE STILL IN THE NOVICE CLASS. Did not have 20 years experience with sex--had one year experience repeated 20 times.




3. MANY ARE SEARCHING FOR THAT “MAGIC” LOVER THAT CAN REALLY TURN THEM ON. (Rather than finding a really compatible relationship and then developing a super sexual relationship.)




4. MANY SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND HANG UPS REQUIRE SOME “UNLEARNING” OR DEPROGRAMMING FROM THE PAST IN ORDER TO REALLY ENJOY A SEXUAL LIFE. For example, Mother said only “bad” people do it.




5. MOST SECOND TIME AROUNDERS FIND IT DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT SEX WITH A PARTNER OR ANYONE. No experience--didn’t talk about it in marriage.




6. INITIALLY MOST EITHER BECOME CELIBATE OR PROMISCUOUS. Go bananas one way or the other.




7. MOST HAVE A NARROW RANGE OF SEXUAL ENJOYMENT. Are conditioned to sexual response one way. Other ways are not developed. Training, experience and attitude changes can quadruple sexual enjoyment. Their sensuousness can be greatly expanded.




8. MOST HAVE ENOUGH UNREALISTIC FEARS TIED UP WITH GETTING SEXUALLY ACTIVE AGAIN THAT SEX

THE SECOND TIME AROUND IS STRESSFUL ENOUGH TO GIVE THEM AN ULCER. Fears:



a. Might not be satisfying to my partner, I might fail.

b. Might find me unattractive in bed without my protective shield of clothes.

c. Might hate myself afterwards.

d. Reputation--what will people say.

e. Catching HIV, VD or something dreadful.

f. Might freeze up and not be able to perform.

g. Might get involved after having sex with them and I don’t want to get involved right now, or at least not with this person.

h. Might be asked to do something “kinky” that I have not done before and am not comfortable with.

i. You become a bad person if you get to like sex.



9. MOST SEEM UNAWARE THAT DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO DIFFERENT STIMULATION. What worked great in arousing your last partner may be a “turn off” to your new one.




10. MOST ARE UNABLE TO READILY COMMUNICATE WHAT TURNS THEM ON OR OFF AND THEIR PARTNER HAS TO GUESS.




11. MANY SECOND TIME AROUND WOMEN ARE NON-ORGASMIC AND MANY MEN EITHER CAN'T GET IT UP OR ARE “MINUTE MEN” and don’t know what to do about it.




12. MOST ERRONEOUSLY FEEL THEY HAVE ALREADY HAD MAXIMUM SEXUAL ENJOYMENT, WHEREAS IN REALITY THEY HAVE PROBABLY ONLY “SCRATCHED THE SURFACE.”




13. MOST FEEL INITIALLY THAT FINDING SEX PARTNERS IS DIFFICULT.



14. MOST HAVE TROUBLE INITIALLY SEPARATING SEX AND LOVE.



15. THE VERY IDEA OF GOING TO BED WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON.




We will take up overcoming these one by one.

READ ON TO, PART ONE

Sexual Information Updates

Sexual Information Updates

Not being a sex web site or newspaper publisher, we usually do not carry information or articles on the subject of sex.


08/08/2008 07:44 PM
How To Handle Women Who Like To Sexualy Tease Men
Nothing is more frustrating for most men than women who like to tease.
At some point, women who like to tease gain control of a man's emotions and lead him to believe that he is going to get a whole lot of her, yet it never ends up happening.
08/08/2008 07:43 PM
Sexual Health - Simple Steps for Maintaing Optimum Sexual Health
Sexual health today, is nothing more than an expression of your general state of health. Moreover, your sexual health is a good indication of your general state of health.
08/08/2008 07:43 PM
Sexual Fantasies in Women Changed the Way They Make Love
In many parts of the world, America included, talking about women's sexual fantasies can still be considered as taboo. It is always a given that the issue of sexual fantasies should be confined within men's world. No wonder then that many women are left with uptight, if not totally inhibited concept about sex.
08/08/2008 07:43 PM
Information on Sexual Health
Sexuality is a big part of being human. Love, affection and sexual intimacy all play a role in healthy relationships. They also contribute to your sense of well-being. A number of disorders can affect the ability to have or enjoy sex, including erectile dysfunction and female sexual problems. Concerns about infertility or fear of unplanned pregnancy can also come into play.
08/08/2008 07:42 PM
Single boomers enjoy sex and do not want to wed: poll
TORONTO (Reuters Life!) - Single baby boomers are enjoying better sex, are open to threesomes and are not looking to get married, according to a new poll.
08/08/2008 07:38 PM
How to Talk about Safe Sex with your Partner
Whether you choose to have sex or not, it is important to talk about it. We normally think that sex is supposed to be physically safe only; we do not consider the safety of our emotions in sexual relationships. As much as we try to be physically safe when involved in sex, we should also try to consider our emotions by looking out for risk factors in advance and safeguarding ourselves, our partners and those around us from needless hurt and harm.




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